Sacred Tenets of Egoic Relationship

by Robert Perry

  • Being treated specially and made to feel special is a good thing.
  • Having a special partner is a good thing.
  • Other people can make me happy.
  • Some people can give me more than others.
  • It matters what people think of me.
  • It matters how people treat me.
  • I can be treated unfairly.
  • Making sure I am not mistreated is a very important skill.
  • It is right and good for me to point out the errors in how people treat me and tell them how to correct those errors.
  • Other people make me feel things.
  • Other people can attack and injure me and they have.
  • Because of the bad things they have done, other people deserve my anger.
  • I am honestly angry at the bad things they did. My anger at them is not really displaced anger at myself for my own “sins.”
  • My actions are caused by what other people do to me.
  • I never attack first.
  • People have certain roles they are supposed to fulfill in relation to my needs and my happiness.
  • If they fail in these roles I have to feel bad about them.
  • My picture of them is wisely informed by all of their past failures in fulfilling their role.
  • In reacting to their present actions it is valid for me to respond to the entire constellation of their past actions that resemble the present action in any way.
  • People owe me because of how much I have given them.
  • Giving to another means loss, sacrifice, and needs to be done very cautiously.
  • The way I was treated in the past continues to be relevant in the present.
  • My past should have treated me better and I can prove it by my achievements in the present.
  • I know who my partner is, maybe not perfectly, but roughly.
  • My partner’s personality matters.
  • My partner’s material circumstance and place in society matters.
  • My partner’s body-its sex, shape, weight, age, clothing, etc.-matters.
  • If someone can meet my needs I should be with them, if they cannot or will not I should leave.
  • Knowing how to get people to love me-through giving gifts, having an attractive personality, body and life situation, and appropriately guilting them-is a crucial skill in life.
  • My attraction to certain individuals holds the promise of my future happiness.
  • My attraction to them is a gift that should make them feel good about themselves. It is not an attack.
  • Conflicts are best resolved by a good memory of the conflict’s exact history, good bargaining skills and a willingness to compromise.

 

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