The one thing that endures is love
Date: 07/24/2007
I've recently decided to become a volunteer hospice chaplain. In this role, I will be offering spiritual care to hospice patients, people with terminal illnesses who have less than six months to live. I haven't actually seen any patients yet; right now, I'm simply going through a training process to prepare for this role. Yet the initial exposure I've had to the hospice program through my training has already had a profound effect on my mind.
As a student of A Course in Miracles, I've been particularly struck by those elements of the training that reflect both the dark side and the bright side of the Course. First, there's the dark side: Death is a truly nightmarish event. The people I'll be working with are people who are being slowly consumed by debilitating illnesses like cancer, Alzheimer's, and ALS. It's amazing just how many ways the body can go horribly wrong. It's not a pretty picture at all. Of course, we all hope that our own deaths will be less difficult, but even if we are fortunate enough to have a "good" death, we will lose all of the worldly things we've cherished so much. Our bodies will disintegrate to dust. We can't take our money or possessions with us. Our careers will come to an end. All that esteem and prestige we've worked so hard to gain will be left behind. This will happen to us all, and can happen at any time. I'm turning forty-four today, and of course I hope to have many years left. But who knows? Our hospice has had patients younger than me who were expecting to live long and full lives until the dreaded terminal diagnosis came. My life could be over tomorrow.
Quite frankly, I'm finding this a bit depressing. Yet at the same time, I'm finding great comfort and hope in those aspects of my training that reflect the bright side of the Course. In a nutshell, the theme that keeps coming to me is this: While death takes away every worldly thing we have, the one thing that endures is love, that great eternal reality which comes from a Source that is not of this world at all. I see this love reflected in the very work I'm being trained to do: to comfort the dying, alleviate their suffering, and affirm their dignity and worth as precious and holy beings. I also see it reflected in the stories experienced hospice workers are telling me: miraculous stories of deathbed forgiveness, seeing loved ones from "the other side," the insight many dying people have that when all is said and done, the only thing that really matters is loving relationships. The old adage that no one on her deathbed wishes she could have spent more time at the office really is true.
What I'm getting out of all this is a new sense of perspective on my life. Of course, I already believed before starting this training that love is the most important thing in life, but looking more closely at mortality has brought that into much sharper focus than before. Do I want to spend my life going after things that will all be taken away by death, or do I want to start living right now as if love is all that matters? This training has brought about some real shifts for me; I can only imagine what will happen when I begin working with actual patients. I'm very much looking forward to it.
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